Monday, March 8, 2010

The Fashion Police

Did everyone enjoy the Oscars last night?

I was happy The Hurt Locker won over James Cameron's Avatar for several reasons (my reasons have nothing to do with the movies as I have not seen either... but plan to see The Hurt Locker):

1) Dude - your ex wife kicked your ass!

2) First woman to win Best Director = Girl Power

3) James has already been "King of the World" once, plus I don't like him for some reason. Maybe its the fact he's been married 5 times that creeps me out? One major plus for James, he did give us Titanic. (Pause for crying and singing of Celine song.)

I was also so happy about Sandra Bullock. I am going to call her Sandy because we are great friends (in my mind). Sandy is so funny and seems really nice. And her big tattooed, motorcyle-ing husband cried when she won - cuteness!

Anywho, enough of this. We all know who won and lost. Let's get down to the important items of business - Dresses. I am really sorry to say that I wasn't BLOWN AWAY by any of the dresses, but I will definitely highlight a few that I like a lot... and then we can gossip about the ones we didn't like. Yea!

Sandy. The belle of the ball by far. She even looked like an Oscar statuette. Plus, I LOVED her red lipstick. Mr. Fo is not a fan of the red lips, but I thought it was perfect. She looked like the epitome of a movie star.

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Oh Demi. Why do you never age? Will you tell me your secrets or point me in the direction of the fountain of youth? She looked AMAZING in this. It's hard not to look totally washed out by this color, but she looked radiant! It's no wonder she is Hollywood's resident cougar.

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SJP would have made Carrie Bradshaw proud last night. It was definitely a daring choice. I could have done without the neck strap BUT I do love how it connected to the back straps. The whole back of the dress was beautiful and I LOVED her hair. I don't care if the whole thing was extensions, it was fabulous.

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Vera Farmiga. At first I had to whip out my Avatar 3-D glasses to see what the hell was going on here. But after taking a closer look, I decided I LOVE this! If you can't wear this to the Oscars, when can you wear it. If anyone knows how she sat down in it, I'd like to know.

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J. Lo. Jenny From the Block. Whatever you call her, she is always dramatic in her choices. I don't know what the deal was with that structured white pouf thing on the side, but I liked it. Despite the fancy dress and jewelry, don't forget she's still Jenny from the Block... don't be fooled by the rocks that she got.

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Here are some dresses that fall in the "okay category" for me:

Meryl is such a fabulous actress, but typically she dresses ... not so fabulous. So while I don't think this dress was amazing or anything, I thought it was an A on the Meryl scale.

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Zoe Saldana looked so gorgeous. And I loved her dress until 2/3rds of the way down. And then I was like, Hey Zoe, there's a puffy purple pouf attacking your dress (say that 3 times fast). Daring choice, but a little much.

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Here are the dresses that made me yell at the TV. And not in a good way. (DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mean person. In fact, I am a really nice person. If the below comments about these celebrities' dresses offend you, I am sorry. But it's totally okay to comment negatively on celebrities clothes. They chose to be in the spotlight, right? Plus, I just speak the truth. If I ever become famous (for what I have no idea) I will never make a mistake on the Red Carpet. It's the RED CARPET. You can quote me HERE! (Yikes - that was probably stupid)).

Dear Charlize,

You are seriously one of the most beautiful actresses out there. But here's the thing. We know you are a girl. We know you have girl parts. Therefore, we don't need strange, different colored rosettes highlighting the 2 girl parts up top. We know they are there. Did the dress maker make a mistake? Did he run out of dye so he had to go with different color for the strange bra you are sporting over your dress? If that's the case, you are Charlize FREAKING Theron, you could probably have told him to remake it. I am sorry, but your dress deserves a Razzie award. I will be sending one your way. Better luck next year Charlize.

Dear Anna Kendrick,

Sweetie, I was hoping this would go well for you since you are a cute little newbie to the Hollywood world. Unfortunately, I believe your stylist is trying to sabotage you by putting you in this dress, which (albeit lovely by itself) washes you out like a vampire. Coincidentally, your other hit movie is Twilight, but you don't play a vampire there either, so maybe you are confused? And the hair is not my fave. All in all I was disappointed. Please try again next year.

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And finally, the Innocent and Adorable Oscar goes too...

Gabourey Sidibe. While I don't think she was Best Dressed, she could definitely win the award for cutest nominee. When she was crying when Oprah introduced her? How CUTE was that? She really looked like she was soaking up every moment. I wanted to give her a big ol' hug.

Well there you have it, my official Fashion Report. That was fun :)

Stay tuned this week for preview of a sweet baby shower I am planning for this weekend!


  1. Great post Jackie. Agree with you on the faves but I actually liked Anna's dress. But it could be partially because I'm loving nude gowns these days. Charlize's dress was frightening and I love Vera so much but her dress just didn't do it for me. It's fun to see everyone's take on it in the blogosphere.

  2. i could look at demi moore all day long. she is (external) beauty.

  3. personally my favorite was Demi Moore, the dress was fantastic and she never ages!

  4. thanks for the recap... this lame-o mama fell asleep about an hr in!

  5. Of course I loved Sandra! She was so classy. And Vera looked gorgeous too. Demi literally does.not.age. Girlfriend is flawless! Meryl looked so gorgeous....just love her!! Thanks for the recap!

  6. Love your recap...very well said!

    PS I love Sandy too!!

  7. great post! i SO agree about anna kendrick- my thing was i liked the dress, but it would have been SO much better in a different color. she's so pale and sickly looking already, and to add that color? insult to injury, in my opinion.

  8. Sandra is the only star I can say I put on a pedestal and that dress is beautiful!

  9. I thought it was awesome that Hurt Locker won & that she won best director. Like you, I haven't seen either movie, but like you I thought it was cool that beat her ex-hubby...LOL! I thought it was pretty funny when she won & everyone was congratulating her, she didn't even turn around to JC.
    I also loved that Sandra won & Jesse James 'awww' moment!